Kim came to me about a year ago a broken woman. She had been a successful direct seller, a leader of some repute, and a top earner in her company. A few years back, she had a falling out with one of her top people; someone with a substantial team in her own rite.
That falling out led to a mutiny of sorts, and Kim watched as a sizable part of her business dissolved before her eyes. The financial hit was considerable, but the psychological hit was infinitely more profound.
When I met Kim, she was a woman without hope. She'd lost her confidence and replaced it with a sense of dread. She had become convinced that her team didn't respect her, that she was an outcast, and that the best thing she could do for all concerned was to disappear from their lives.
So she made a deliberate decision to stop leading. She went underground. Her business languished, the legs of her organization that were still viable suffered for lack of her involvement, and she devolved into a gradually more reclusive and self-pitying version of herself.
When I met Kim, she still had a shred of desire to succeed, but it was trumped by her certainty that nobody liked her, respected her, or valued her leadership. Thankfully, there was still a small flame to be fanned; a longing that could, with the right coaching, be expanded into what I call "prosperity neurology," a mind wired, once again, for success.
Many direct sellers struggle, like Kim, to maintain prosperity neurology; which is often lost in the wake of rejection, disappointment, overwhelm, conflict, and lack of purpose.
Interestingly, it's never really the external event that leads to this loss, but rather the spin we put on it; the significance we attribute to our circumstances. For Kim, the betrayal she experienced from one side of her business was interpreted by her as a reflection of how everyone felt about her. Her spin was "I'm unworthy." That's not the only way to interpret that situation, and it's certainly not the best way.
The desire for success and the belief that we can have it (and deserve it) are the driving force that moves us joyfully towards our goals and dreams. Without such desire and belief, life is dull at best and intolerable at worst. As direct sellers, we rely on our sense of certainty to share our business, because it's certainty that's the most contagious of all emotions. It's the magnet that draws others to us, and along with them, our prosperity.
We need to guard our hope and certainty; to prevent them from being lost. Without them, people often experience:
When our minds are properly programmed, we are eager, excited, attractive and productive. A direct seller fueled by hope can do amazing things. She can transcend external circumstances and become massively successful.
If you have lost your will to succeed, regaining it needs to be your first priority.
It's remarkable how many direct sellers continue to slog along with ever increasing effort and ever decreasing results in the absence of the right mental state. The underlying thought for those individuals is, "If I work hard enough, I'll get the results I need, and then I'll feel successful."
Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. You need to start with the inner process, not try to gain it through effort. To do otherwise is to run a marathon with an anchor around your leg.
Here are the three steps I shared with Kim to help her reprogram her mind for success. This process is taken directly from my program, UnHypnosis for Network Marketers.
Step 1: Creating receptivity. In order to effectively reprogram the mind, you must first gain access to the subconscious. This is done by creating a state of relaxed concentration; one in which the mind is open to positive and beneficial suggestions.
Unlike many popular methods of developing a positive mindset, this approach acknowledges the importance of speaking to the subconscious mind rather than the conscious mind. There are several techniques available to accomplish this first and most important step, including but not limited to hypnosis, meditation, progressive relaxation and guided imagery.
Step 2: Eliminating negativity: This is a process for stripping away negative and outmoded mental programs such as "I'm not good enough" or "It's not OK to sell."
We've all grown up with a host of negative programs, and without addressing them directly and eliminating them, the next step becomes inadequate at best.
There are a few very powerful techniques to eliminate negative programming, chief among them being NLP or Neuro-linguistic programming; a neurology-based science of communication used by many progressive therapists.
Step 3: Installing positive messages: Once you've begun to eliminate your negative programming, choose a few short, affirming statements you'd like to "rescript" into your mind.
If you've been telling yourself you're a terrible sales person, you may find examples of times you sold well or were influential in some other way, and then you can create statements like, "I'm influential and persuasive. People love buying from me!"
Next, you'll use the rescripting process of repeating these positive statements to yourself while your mind is in a deeply relaxed state.
One way to enhance the effect of this process is to use relaxation audios, like my UnHypnosis for Direct Sellers CD. It fulfills all the criteria above; creating receptivity, eliminating negativity, and providing positive statements to reprogram your subconscious.
When I coached Kim using these techniques, magical things began to happen. Kim realized that her suffering had been self induced. She opened to the possibility that her painful history was not a reflection of who she was or how others felt about her. She gathered the courage to reenter the world of leadership. She took the chance to attend a conference that she had been terrified of.
With the help of some relaxation and focus techniques I taught her, she was able to utilize the three steps above, and she began to climb out of a four year depression.
When Kim called me from her conference to tell me about all the people who had come up to her and hugged her; all the people who had missed her and were grateful to have her back, she spoke through sobs of gratitude and joy. And, I must confess, I cried my share of tears as well.
Since that time, Kim has gone on to become, once again, a top earner in her company. She's won awards, trips, and even a vehicle. She has her life back, and she lives it with purpose and passion. She's excited to share herself, no longer crippled by hopelessness and low self esteem.
I gave Kim nothing she didn't already have. She had the skill, the talent, the intelligence and the desire to be successful. All she lacked was the right neurology. And when she regained that...she came back to us all.
If you're not "wired for success," don't wait another second before addressing it. Admit it to yourself, share your pain with others, find a more empowering interpretation of your situation, take the time you need to heal, and then recommit to being the person you know you can be; the person you were meant to be. Use the three steps to reprogram your subconscious mind for success today! The world needs what you have!
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